We Get It...You Hate the Metrodome

Look who stopped by on a Tuesday...our old (fairweather) friend Mr. Hunter;






As someone who gets lost going to the corner to buy a newspaper...I sympathize a bit. But fuck you for making fun of the Dome. You can't make fun of our retarded little brother...only WE can make fun of our retarded little brother. (Karma bit him in the ass when the security guard didn't recognize him)

Angels and Giants: Part 2

(Editor's Note: Part 1 of this post can be found here)




But meanwhile, the MN Twins PR staff is furiously scribbling away on notepads at a secret location in Twins Territory, concocting a brand new "Get To Know 'Em" storyboard for 11-trillion time gold-glover Torii Hunter's replacement. Whoever that may be. Will it be Denard, who's career spans (pun) the distance between his draft day and a series of recent minor league notebooks describing his ill readiness to play on the next level? Ugh. Will it be Cleveland-via-Boston's diminutive center fielder Count Chocula? Double Ugh.

My personal history with Torii as a fan is nowhere near as intricate as the one I just laid out for KG. Like (or because of) baseball, Torii was an acquired taste. They are the beets and brussel sprouts of my fandom. But I don't blame namesake for that -- in fact, in relative terms, the seal of approval I bestowed on Torii came quicker than most. His game, at least offensively, was never as complete as KG's, and his swing-hard-and-often approach was a constant frustration early on, and I suspiciously felt, some terribly stupid master plan concocted with fellow Soul Patroller Jacque Jones to drive me insane. Mission accomplished. The defense though...ah, the defense. There was never a question about that, and my head swelled with pride when Torii robbed Barry (whose head was quite large too -- maybe he was swollen with pride also?) during that All-Star game. There is something so comforting/awesome about never doubting whether a tough play would be made out there in center field when the ball left the bat of an opposing hitter and sailed in that direction -- the mental equivalent of shooting a basketball and leaving your hand in the air cuz you KNOW it's going in. But now Torii has moved on to a greener...well, greyer and redder I suppose...pasture and his electric smile is, dare I say, a kilowatt or two more electric than recent memory serves. And once again (as with KG), I feel happy for him as a semi-liberated (I am both beholden to my home-town team and not) fan. No bad feelings. And given my previous adulation and unofficial campaign manager status regarding Terry Ryan, it's probably not suprising that there are no hard feelings for management either. Simple facts is facts -- and the facts is that we couldn't afford to pay for Torii to stay. We got to $45 million and the Angels bid TWICE that. How can you compete? Even if Scrooge McPohlad shovelled another few spadefuls of cash off that money pile he swims in and tossed them in Torii's direction, I feel confident in saying that we never would have sniffed a return of Hunter to centerfield in Minnesota. It's just not how we roll...and frankly, I don't have a problem with that. I won't be cheering for the Angels, but I will be keeping tabs on the namesake. Good luck sir.

You will be missed in Section 108 on half-price homerun porch Tuesdays...and Tuesdays With Torii as well.

Two things I've read

First, it's the Torii watch. The White Sox are making efforts to talk with his agent. Torii in a Sox uni, kinda hurts. I imagine Ozzie like that kid in high school asking the prom queen out and she checks "maybe" on the note. The excitement builds and you ignore the potential let down if she eventually goes with the doofus hockey player. This isn't a real life experience, but it does provide me with the opportunity to say how much the class of 95 still thinks about Courtney Olson and Anna Siebert. Nice, worked them into another quote. Anyway, please Torii, if you don't come back here, please don't play there. I don't want to hear Hawk Harrelson say, "it's back, way back, put it on the board....NO. Torii makes another synsational catch for the Good Guys".

A Rod wants $350 million dollars with his next contract. The Yankees were going to offer an extension that would have been worth $230 million. That, obviously wasn't enough. Is anyone really going to pay that amount of money? Heal yes someone will. Baseball is so frickin financially Scroog McDuck right now that someone will pay it. Then ARod will build a large rectagular building with a big $ sign on it and dive off his diving board into his pool of gold coins. Then still suck in the playoffs, still hurt his club house, still make dumbass comments about other players and their relationship (Jeter) and cripple his teams chance to get better. Enjoy Cooperstown and being considered one of the top 5 players of all time. I dont want anything to do with you.

Scary Thoughts Are Only Speculation

On this Hallo's Eve, I can't stop wondering "what could be" as I read and hear how the Yankee's have, yet again, taken the top headlines in baseball instead of writers celebrating the season that Boston and Colorado had. Short note to Manny, thanks for being average in the regular season and awesome in the playoffs. Really helped the fantasy squad. I am officially sick of the "Manny being Manny" cliche, mainly because I had to listen to Tim McCarver say it more then once. Why doesn't Joe Buck hit Tim's mute button anyway? Back to the subject at hand, free agency and the state off our team and our Namesake.

Here is my trick and maybe a treat - Bill Smith and the boys go crazy and figure out that if they want to compete now they must do many things. 1. Sign Santana to a deal. Duh. 2. Listen to Torii, discuss with him what he wants, try (no really try not just say we tried) to get him here. 3. Sign Morneau to a deal. 4. Make a play for Hank Blalock, Mike Lowell, Garrett Atkins, or heck, see if Mike Schmidt or Scott Leuis can still play. Just don't go with Punto at 3B. I can take him at 2B if we have someone else at 3B. Please, please, please. 5. Don't play coy with the fans. Be honest with us, tell us if you playing for next year then do something about it. If you are going to "rebuild" then trade Nathan. If you're not, see 1-4. 6. Don't bring up that the Twins are small market and can't compete with paying high salaries. We all know Mr. Pollad is the wealthiest owner in baseball. You have a new stadium coming. I refuse to listen or sympathize with your self-imposed restriction to not pay for talent. Detriot just traded for Renteria and upgraded their SS and 1B position in one swoop (Guillen will now play 1B, he's better then Casey). Suck it up.

Now it's time for a reality check. Torii is gone. I think the writing is on the wall. I believe he truly wants to win and I think he feels slighted by not being signed. I think he sees that the organization prefers to spin their wheels while the other teams in the division continue to fill holes with free agents/trades. He will be approached by many teams with a better shot at making the playoffs and they will all come with their wallets out and smiles on their faces. I don't think the Twins will try and get a good 3B. Note, Morgan Ensberg is not a good 3B. I think they will sign someone who hits .250 and about 15 HRs. Yes, that's better then Punto, but it's not what we need to complete with Detriot, Cleveland or any other playoff team. They will go with a young pitching rotation. Actually, that's a good idea (see Ponson & Ortiz). Let Kubel play some more. If he was a regular, you would get 25 HRS from him. I know Bill Smith is a new GM and we can only speculate that he will operate similar to Mr. Ryan (thanks for all the good things you did Terry, I really do appreciate your work). But, unfortunately past history seems to guarantee future results when it comes to our beloved squad.

So I'm asking the Twins to please save this Minnesota sports fan from the current peril I swim in as I cheer from my other home-town squads. Ok, the Wild are pretty good so far, but I don't skate so well and my parents didn't make enough money for me to play hockey at Minnetonka. So, that's that.