Tuesday, June 27, 2006

It's Not a Memo -- It's a Mission Statement

Quoting Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire these days seems almost as crazy as…well…Tom Cruise these days. But this is indeed a mission statement – and we intend to Draw-See-Think our way to enlightenment. As far as plans go, we hope it will guide us slightly better than say, neo-con nation building or playing baseball indoors– and maybe slightly worse than the brilliance of Jed Bartlett’s re-election campaign. At the very least, we will attempt to amuse ourselves and anyone who cares to check in on us.

A baseball season is a marathon and not a sprint – if not a marathon, at least one of those 10K thingy’s. It ebbs and flows. It pronates and supernates. It bleeds from the nipples. It’s sometimes Hank and sometimes Henry – and that could be Shakespearean or NeilYoungian – your choice. All this is a rather wordy way of saying that now that the Twins are back to .500…we’re excited again. And while the idea for this blog was germinated long ago…it will bloom NOW, alongside Justin Morneau’s hall-of-fame career.

Did we mention we’re Twins’ fans? And, historically speaking, recent ones. You know how they say that there is a window in which to appreciate jazz, or that martinis are an acquired taste? Well, that has very little to do with appreciating baseball. But it might suggest that appreciation comes in various guises – creeping in a petty pace for some of us while for others it was never any other way. We could pick the Killer, Carew, and even Bob Allison out of line-up. Though at the end of the day, we would drape ourselves in Teflon if it were socially acceptable. Blame it on long winters, blame it on Midwest provinciality…hell, blame it on pudgy centerfielders. But here we are. Two World Series championships. Too much Denny Hocking. It’s Terry Ryan’s world – we’re just living in it.

We have only two rules:

This will be a baseball blog.
This will not be a baseball blog.

And if we had to choose a third, it would be something about how spelling doesn’t count.

Baseball has had an influence on our lives (do you remember where you were when Barry couldn’t throw out Sid?)…but we will try our best to avoid generating the minutiae that results from dissecting EVERY missed sign or poring over rule 5 lists. Hell, we can barely read English, let alone Scotty Ulger. There have been other influences…Sega, Shakespeare, Vern Gagne, Bob Dylan, Norman Dale, and, of course, Tooter Snork. We will mention them often. We will quote Nietchshe. We will quote Ron Burgundy. We will make jokes about being fondled by Adam Smith’s invisible hand. We will sing “Stand Up and Shout” at the top of our lungs.

But only in save situations.

We hope you'll join us.

-The Management


Hops said...

Despite years of protestations, apparently math does work:

One wordy writer + Another wordy writer = an incredibly rambling mission statement.

Kaiser said...

If nothing else, it's an incredibly effective way to figure out who is the most stubborn.

MillerTime said...

I wish to be a commentator on said blog. Sign me up bro.

Laura said...

I've seen an entry and a half, but you've already gained a fan just by knowing the Snorks. I applaud thee.