Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Be Careful What You Wish For

For the last two years, the general hue and cry from Twindom has gone something like this, “Jesus Christ, trade some of those young pitchers for someone who can hit!”.

And, I don’t mean to speak for the masses here, but I believe the call was for someone who hit with his man bits and not with his vagina.

Well…it’s morning in Minnesota, and Bill Smith’s reply to our call was “Why don’t you shove Carlos Gomez up your ass. Small Market's in the HOUSE”.

We’ve not only traded one of best young pitchers (a trade I kinda love), but we’ve now managed to make Boof Bonser our 2008 Opening Day Starter. Whoops!

Can you tell I’m mad? I mean, can you really tell? How about this…watch this clip and then you’ll probably understand. I’ve never been to Turkey, but I’m seriously thinking about going.

Let me be clear…I LIKE the Matt Garza trade. I LIKE the prospect of Delmon Young hitting the ball all over Carl Pohlad Memorial Stadium. I wasn’t mad when we traded Luis Castillo and I believe NOT paying Torii Hunter 90 million dollars, even though it made this website’s name obsolete, was the RIGHT thing to do.

But don’t those moves highlight in big, glowing, Joe Mauer-pink neon the absolute NECESSITY of re-signing Johan Santana???

Here’s what every Twins fan should be asking this morning…”What’s the fucking plan, Mr. Smith?”

Are we really to believe this team is ready to compete for a title now? And, assuming the answer is “No fucking way”, when will we be competing? Are we waiting for Justin Morneau to be MORE in his prime? Am I missing a BEVY of young players in the minors that are two-three years away that are going to make all the difference?

This feels like a move that is two days late and 25 million dollars short. If the team was willing to part with Garza, why not last year or the year before when a trade would have produced a hitter that could have helped us get over “the hump”? If we’re re-building, then why not trade Joe Nathan at last year’s deadline for young players? And, most mind-numbingly important of all, if you were willing to give Johan 4 years at 20 million…why not five? Or how about four years at 25 million? Jesus. Mary. Joseph.

So...What’s the fucking plan, Mr. Smith? More moves to come? Trading Nathan at this year's deadline?

Until this becomes more clear to me, I’m sorry, but I am forced to give you a special, mandatory TWT nickname.

We’ve officially gone from The Quiet Genius to a Man-Lady named Phuck.

(By the way…in all seriousness…I can’t wait for the season to start. Go Twins!)

(Oh…and this was supposed to be a Farewell Johan post. Well fuck that…but my favorite Johan memory is probably the duel with Curt Schilling when he struck out six of the first seven hitters )

(Or maybe it was win he gave up a MONSTER home run to Big Papi in the World Classic )