Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Are We There Yet?

Well, the shelves are stocked with hope over here at the local Twin-E-Mart, and I for one am very excited for them to open up the doors so I can stock up on Twinkies (insert Sidney Ponson fat joke here). Why don't they sell Twinkies at the Dome anyway? Sanjib, the imaginary and racially-insensitive character I've just created to run this fictional convience store slash Twins analogy, is just about finished mopping and spit polishing, and will be open for business in less than a week.

The rotation is slowly solidifying -- a lot like bacon grease -- and I still am waiting for management to get so fed up that they can't help but go in the direction I suggested not long ago. Silva N' Gold had another horrible outing yesterday, bringing his ERA to such incalculable heights that I broke out my old multivariable calculus textbook last night and nearly won a Fields Medal coming up with an accurate number. How much longer must this charade continue? Can I get me some Garza already!? Granted that baseball is maybe the most unpredictable game there is in the short term, this side of hockey, but I'm feeling amazingly solid about Joheezy, Boof, and Garza right now, and just hoping for the bare minimum out of the others. Have you seen the Yankees or Soxs' (Soxeses'?) starting rotation lately? Yeah, that makes me feel better. Don't talk to me about the Tigers' though -- that's where nightmares come from. I'm already concocting brain-disabling heckles to shout from the home run porch at Joel Zumaya later.

The other good news of recent days is the (apparent) progress in stadium land negotiations. While I'm still not convinced that the currently prescribed location is the perfect spot for outdoor baseball (riverview, anyone?), I will admit that my condo/house searching for the near future has primarily centered around an 8-block radius from the aforementioned spot. Is that good? Next thing you know I'll be basing my stock market decisions on the effect of Mauer's OPS on t-shirt sales, and investing in Jimmy Johns and that Swing-Right thingy. Still, I can't imagine a much better scenario than an off-the-cuff walk across the Hennepin Avenue bridge for some Tuesday (With Torii) evening baseball in the heat of summers to come. Mmmm...outdoor baseball.

1 comment:

Hops said...

The only proper way to refer to a Field's Medal is as a "Fucking Field's Medal"