Thursday, February 28, 2008

I don't feel tardy

Welcome back, F-Bomb
Yes…we can officially talk about him again.

And, in honor of the first radio broadcast of the year today, a quick reminder to Dan Gladden that he is the RADIO broadcaster. That means your listeners (there’s a hint right there) can’t SEE the play. Please try and describe the action with a bit more clarity than you’re known for. I’m well aware that you and John Gordon are drunk while calling the games, but, with very few exceptions, doing something drunk should mean you’re doing it better.

Instead of screaming “OOOOHHHHH” and moving on without telling us what happened; say “Player X had a most excellent slide into third base, and, consequently, has been awarded said position”.

Instead of “The pitch…swing and the ball is…the outfielder is coming in to make the catch…home-run.”…try, “That ball is hit a long way…it has a chance…the centerfielder goes back to the wall…GONE! A Home Run!” Remember, watch the fielder, not the ball.

Instead of “Swing…ball…oh my god…throws to third…the ball is loose…gets away…safe!” …try, “Gordo, please get your hand off my thigh.”.

Instead of “Buy Gluek’s beer” …just shut your hole.

Wow…three days in a row of posting! Must be hockey season. (Nice tradeOglethorpe wasn’t available?)


Kaiser said...

F-bomb's wife's name is Johanna!!? REALLY!? I feel like this means something cosmic....

In 2006, when Liriano made the All-Star team as a rookie, going 12-3 with a 2.16 ERA, he weighed 201 pounds.

Now, he weighs more than 230, said one of his agents, Michael Moye, who watched the workout from behind a fence.

Moye spoke of Liriano's new-found dedication in the weight room.


During his visa delay, Liriano pitched in two games at the Twins' Dominican academy, working four innings combined, and the reports said his fastball reached 97 miles per hour.

Urge to cheer...rising...RISING!

Hops said...

Fat Boof=Doghouse...Fat F-Bomb=Penthouse

Hops said...

I'm also hoping this is the year we can stop calling Dan Gladden,"dazzle".

I'll go along with the popular vote...but that's a first class shithole of a nickname. Why not call him "rainbow" or "Mauer"

Kaiser said...

I think I just found my new favorite Twin: