Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Cornicopia...and it's not even Thxgiving

Well, I think we've let Hops' excellent posts sit at the top of this bad boy long enough. Se la V (for Vendetta) old school baseballer references. You see, I am a relative newcomer to the joy that baseball can bring with its day to day checking of boxscores and non-stop water cooler fodder. Sure, I was briefly carniverous in my devotion to the Twins in '87 and '91, but being young, I was not in complete control of my faculties back then (obvious cheap shot space), and thereafter thought the national pasttime crept in too petty a pace. That has changed recently, and now my interest is renewed, raptorial even, but still I was only vaguely aware the last couple days that Ron Washington was a former stone-handed Twin, and only by the grace of Dick In Bert (no offense) was this made clear. I rely on Hops and Smitty to spearhead any nostalgia here at TWT, while I pretend to know what they're talking about, and giggle at Glenn Hubbard's beard. Not to mention his python (not what you think). They still use yearbooks and newspapers as primary information sources, while I am a master of the nuances of Facebook and IM phrasology, and know how to copy and paste HTML. :-o

While I've been on hiatus, the Twins were beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of nagging injuries. A plague even. I even thought about making this post a pleasurable romp through Camus' world from the vantage of Denny Hocking, but then remembered that I haven't read his book after all. Far be it for me to question the toughness of major league ballplayers, but doesn't it seem like the level for "sore" this or "strained" that has changed significantly in our lifetime? Maybe the Twins are just keeping in character and being overly cautious by keeping guys out until they are completely healed. From snippets of interviews and media coverage though, it seems like the player himself has a great deal of control sometimes in how long they stay out. Others (Baby Jeebus) seem to have no say. It's probably different for everyone -- correlated to salary, arbitrary "important-ness to team", and iconic status (see 'Jeebus, Baby' above).

Of more recent note, Namesake has been absolutely brilliant so far this season, and it seems to finally be catching on with the rest of the team. Like playing good baseball is retro, and the Puntos and Bartletts of the world are realizing it's cool again know...hit for average and shit. Even Leftfield Option #2 briefly stopped sucking last night. Namesake's home-run robbery the other night was epic. Right up there in the top ten with the on-the-run-over-the-shoulder diddy from earlier in the season. SO refreshing to be seeing him make catches like that again, after seriously wondering if he had lost a step the last two years, and even at the beginning of this season when a few balls dropped at his feet that you felt he may have gotten to back in the Minky/A.J. years. I love Torii With Two 'I's and No 'Y's and I'm not the only one.

A.J.P. Remember when he was one of us? Just kidding. I know you do. Personally, I don't understand the booing of A.J. at Metrodome, and this has been examined before at many outlets. No, he didn't choose to leave on his own, and yes Mauer is clearly a huge upgrade and was waiting in the wings at the time, and yes he sort of gives the current batch of Twins a bit more incentive to beat down the Sox when they come to town (although this is overrated). That's all well and good, but the real reason we should embrace A.J. is that he's f'ing hilarious. He's an entertainment beacon of light in the Charles Barkley mold and he makes our (former) mortal enemies a borderline joke on a regular basis. Can you imagine A.J. on Baseball Tonight, calling out Steve Phillips' white hair and Jon Kruk's left nut (wait...which one's still extant?)? Or maybe in the booth with Bert, going back and forth to see who can entertain themselves with their own comments more? Poor poor Dick. I'm suffering for you already, even though this scenario is only a fiction of my poorly constructed brain device.

Random thought (which also debunkifies my command of the online community vernacular and protocol): What is the e-equivalent of "Just thinking out loud"? What I mean is, what do you say in an email or IM for "just thinking out loud"? Just translating my thoughts into finger-based keyboard motions so that you may ocular-ly ingest it!

I've clearly been at my computer too long.

Finally, I would be remiss not to mention the departure of BatGirl. Her link has been sitting at the top of our sidebar since the beginning, where it rightfully belongs, and where it will rightfully stay. I will not pile on to the list of people that have adopted her as the inspiration for their own blog (it's not entirely untrue) or the list of people that will miss her (definitely true), but will be the first to offer up this blogspace for any potential Twinsventing she wants to do in a guest capacity (true, but not realistic). You're welcome at TWT anytime. I think I speak for my co-founders when I say that BatGirl was one of those everyday sorts of blogs to read as it was so consistently entertaining, and not one of those every other (which is pretty good) or once-a-week (not bad) or oh-yeah-I-haven't-been-there-in-awhile type blogs (how bout a little more effort here guys). Obvious cheap shot space here, as well. Come on, we can take it. Anyway, that may not seem like the best compliment, but when you're a veteran of the internets like me, you know that it is.

Anywho, we will miss you BatGirl and if I ever have children (somewhere a butterfly is shivering) I will definitely be reading them your children's books (not ones I literally steal from them). But could you write one about a robot? I like robots.


Hops said...

Taking for granted that I'm probably on the (future) babysitting list for your kids, you should know that I'll be reading "The Stranger" to them just as soon as they're old enough to understand that there is no meaning of life.

Kaiser said...

Will you be doing some macaroni art and exi-stencilling the alphabet with them?

Hops said...

Where am I left in your analogy as I don't use yearbooks OR facebooks as a reference source?

Kaiser said...

All right, all right. Newspapers and Karl Marx tomes. And books about beard grooming.

Hops said...

Quote from Ozzie Guillen in the Strib today:
"I'm willing to take the blame," Guillen said. "I will take the blame like I always do. The 25 guys we've got down there, they better look themselves in the mirror."

First off...where's my mirror?
And secondly...I love this guy. We have lot in common...we're both obsessed with the Twins:

"I keep blowing smoke when we face [the Twins]. But I know a little bit about baseball, and that's a baseball team out there. A good one. Know what I mean?"