Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Unsolicited Advice

1: Don’t pitch to Frank Thomas
(Okay, got that out of the way…we won’t discuss again)

2: Don’t pitch to Frank Thomas
(Whoops…maybe just one more so we don’t forget)

3: Have Justin Morneau grow a playoff beard

4: Have Jesse Crain shave his

5: Take a page out of the Oakland playbook and have everyone take two bong hits before the game…we were too jittery yesterday

6: Instead of waiting until the 8th and 9th innings to stage a meaningful rally…try waiting until the 12th, see how that works

7: If Johan Santana wants to pitch again today, let him

8: If Johan Santana wants to DH today, let him

9: Replace “We’re going to win Twins, we’re going to score” with “We really go after them, that’s how we play…we’re not going to change what we do now…sometimes we’re gonna get thrown out, but we’re gonna keep getting after ‘em, We’re going to score”

10: Two words…Mike Redmond


Kaiser said...

11. Start Phil Nevin at first base and have him "sweep the leg" when Big Ouch trots by after his first home run today.

Hops said...

12.Immediately take Phil Nevin out after successful leg sweep

Kaiser said...

I would assume he'll just be ejected and after Frank is taken out "in a body bag Johnny", JustinTimeToGoColdForThePlayoffs will be inserted at first to resume normal duties.

Kaiser said...

13. Utilize "No one gave us a chance after Johan lost in Game 1" routine to counter A's "No one gave us a chance in the playoffs because everyone thinks the AL West sucks" routine.

Hops said...

14. Go with the 7 man outfield for Big Ouch...including Morneau standing on top of the fence at the left field fair pole.

Hops said...

Here we go...c'mon Boof! (And if anyone wants to get more than one hit, that'd be great too)

Hops said...

That thing earlier, about waiting until the 12th...that was a joke. Get a fucking run.

Pooh said...

JustInTimeFORTHAT WillyStyle...

coopDAWG said...

18. Obviously, the Twinkies "DESERVED NO MERCY"