You Got To Know When To Hold It

There was a baseball game last night. A World Series game, in fact.

However, there was also an “incident”. An “occurence”. Something, that if true, could possibly sully the purity and virtue that is Baseball’s Fall Classic.

Anyone watching the game knows what we're talking about…Kenny Rogers pooped on his hand.












In fact, he's been doing it for years. The photo above shows that he did it in the ALCS this year (left panel), before doing it again last night (right panel). It is a strange and rare affliction. An offshoot of Alzheimer's (our medical experts tell us) and a sad underreported medical condition.

That is the only logical explanation for what happened. If he was attempting to cheat, why put the “substance” in a place so obvious to anyone with functioning sight? If he was attempting to cheat, why would the umps and Tony LaRussa not demand that the “substance” be examined instead of just washed-off. Know why? ‘Cuz the substance was poop. Who wants to examine that?

The only reason they had to talk about it after the game was because the cameras caught it. Everyone was embarrassed and had to come up with something other than the truth…in fact, if the media keeps pressing on this, we fully expect Kenny Rogers to admit to cheating…only to avoid having to admit that he pooped on his hand. Which would you choose?

C’mon Kenny…tell us the truth…you're not alone.

Oh by the way, the Tigers won the game.

Other famous people who suffer from the same affliction:

















The real reason we invaded Iraq















Think Howie got beat legitimately by Kerry in the Iowa caucus? Think again.


















Self-important attention whore? Nope. Brilliant PR gambit to deflect focus from the tragic truth. You think the night vision in that video was an accident?


















You think any self respecting athlete nay the best passer in NFL history, would endorse Isotoner gloves ON PURPOSE? Hell no.