Friday, March 07, 2008

Preen-season Baseball

I'm getting officially excite bike about the 2008 baseball season which is A MERE # AND A !/@ WEEKS AWAY (that'd read "3 and a 1/2" if I wasn't too excited to turn the caps lock off). I always have difficulty during this part of the season which is really not part of the season but maybe it is a teeny bit because I feel the drive to read every blog post and report and snippet and bottom-of-the-notebook item trying to fill the void, while simultaneously my brain tells me that these games and performances don't count yet so don't read too much into them. I try to sift through every 1 inning pitching performance to detect if F-bomb's elbow is coming apart at the seams and look at Baby Jesus' .500 batting average with skeptical eye-batting over the top of my reading glasses (sorry, that wasn't meant for you attrative waitress gal) , all the while a tiny little butterfly of hope is stirring somewhere in my gut. Three things that get me a little twittery in the loins...the baseball loins, that is.

* The return of F-Bomb*
You got to love looking atvideo like this (via Gleeman). Somewhat hard to tell from this, but apparently Francisco has gained like 30 pounds during his extended rehab stint. I guess there's not a lot to do back at home except lift weights. Or maybe he was on the Daunte Culpepper strip-mall gym rehab plan. Or maybe, just maybe, Liriano's agent came to a super secret agreement with Boof Bonser (he's small now) who suspiciously just happened to lose the exact same amount of weight during the exact same offseason! Apparently Tommy John is code for "liposuction transfer surgery"?

*The ridiculousness of Carlos Gomez*
I haven't seen too much of this kid yet (zero, actually), but apparently he is crazy fast. I have to say, there is not much better in the world of sports for me than watching ridiculously fast guys. It's always been a literal fascination, and apparently this kid is the real deal on those terms. I also hear that his batting style roughly resembles that of an overly sugared 11-year-old boy trying to kill horseflies with a 34 oz Louisville Slugger. Like worse than early Torii. I'm sure it'll get REAL frustrating after awhile (especially if he's leading off), but it's going to be pretty damn funny in the interim. I love that honeymoon period. Lastly, you gotta love stuff like this. "
A key figure in the Johan Santana trade, he is convinced he is about to become an impact player with the Twins. 'Sure!' he said the other day. 'They don't have no speed like me. I know I can help this team. Especially when I hit ahead of Morneau and the catcher and the other guy.'" Are you serious? He says things like this!? Unbelievably ridiculous. Unbelievably awesome. And we thought Delmon Young was going to be the one with possible character issues? Speaking of Delmon...

*A bit more mash-happy lineup this year?*
I'm excited for the possible emergence of Delmon, no longer just the Jamaican answer to "What kind of laptop is that?" anymore (sorry, couldn't help myself). I'm also excited, and maybe this is one of the side-effects of a so-so year last year, for the re-emergence of the catcher, the Morneau, and yes, the other guy (Cuddy, although Gomez might have meant Delmon?). Taken as a whole, I don't know if the entire lineup is necessarily a significant upgrade over last year or two years ago (that would be tough), but I speculate that it will be. Let's put it this way...given the suspect nature of our pitching staff at this point, it better be. I just get a sneaky little feeling that this is going to be the most home-run heavy Twins team of recent memory. Yeah, yeah, yeahs...I know the bar is REAL low and I'm not really going out on a limb there, but I'm just saying that we could see a fair bit of mashing and that is flat-out fun to watch. Lock-down pitching is cool in kind of a slow and steady defense and rebounding way, but the acute joy of a game-turning home run can't be matched. It's like a tomahawk dunk know...with a bat. And the ball is smaller.

Can't wait for Tuesdays in the home run porch...


Kaiser said...

Sure, I just get finished writing this post and then I see this:

Kaiser said...

Things I'm looking forward to, Honorable mention:

*Mike Lamb's sense of humor*
Matches perfectly the sarcastic, dry style that we embrace here at TWT.

Hops said...

*The growing feud between Joe Mauer and Carlos Gomez*

Nick N. said...

Sorry to kill your buzz! I do suspect that Young will make some significant strides with his power hitting this year. By all accounts, he's working hard to improve his patience. If he can do so, he will be ahead in the count more often and he'll see more fat fastballs.

I also hear that his batting style roughly resembles that of an overly sugared 11-year-old boy trying to kill horseflies with a 34 oz Louisville Slugger.

That's just awesome.

Hops said...

I asked you for a nickname for Delmon last week...and you saved it for your own post. Selfish.

The Jamaican Laptop

Smitty said...

Still laughing about Gomez's swing comment. My mouth was totally open.

Dont try and hide your increasing man crush on Delmon. He's starting to get in your head and you don't want him there, yet.

When do the Young Guns references start? Who gets to play Charlie Sheen?

Kaiser said...

Who is "Smitty"?

Kaiser said...

Not to toot my own horn (innuendo), but I continue to be prophetic. This is one of the funniest things I've read in years: