From the Bureau of W.T.F.

The Jesus gets 2 R'sBI on a sac fly to center. Sure, the guy fell down...but that second runner doesn't even get waved home if it's not C-Button. Watch it here.

The conspiracy continues...Major League Baseball REFUSES to post video of either of Joe Mauer's home runs this week. See...I'm not the only hater.

Instead...let's learn about HOW Joe Mauer became, well, Joe Mauer:






Finally, for those with terrible, soul-sucking, meaningless jobs, follow today's MLB draft here.

Update:

Here's Mauer's home run

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Sloppy Seconds

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Kaiser:
Speaking of soul-sucking jobs, or at least REALLY slow days at a tolerable one, how about a semi-live blog for today's get-away game to get through the afternoon? I'll give you a topic: where does the term "rubber game" come from? If I was playing Balderdash, I would guess that it was from the contraception industry, indicating that the term rubber is roughly equivalent to "life-changing" in popular parlance among baseball- and mating-inclined individuals. Thoughts?

Kaiser:
Hello? Hello?

My sources (Hops) tell me Hops is ACTUALLY working this afternoon and therefore unable to participate. Weird. Guess I will hijack my own semi-live blog...

Kaiser:
Mike Redmond doing his best Joe Mauer impression....don't worry no sideburns jokes coming...I just meant by hitting third in the lineup and catching and whatnot. Twins lead 1-0 after the double scores Alexi Casilla-ingEyeSingle.

Kaiser:
Nick Mar-rake-us ensures Baker won't make it past the 4th inning (pitch-count-wise) with a prolonged at-bat ending in a 2-run shot to left. Not funny. Do I hear tune-up music from Brian "Stand up" Bass?

Kaiser:
Wow, I sit corrected. Baker ends up throwing 90-something pitches, which I guess is okay because his sore groin (ding!) didn't actually throw any of the pitches.

Kaiser:
Don't look now, but Alexi is hitting .353 overall after his third straight hit today. Okay now look. Twins tie it up at 2.

Kaiser:
Aw crap. Baltimore's version of C Button, Adam Jones (A Button, I suppose), puts the O's ahead by hitting the ball over the blue fence thingy on the edge of the outfield. Apparently that is known as a home run, but they're on the road, so you figure it out.

Kaiser:
Justin Morneau starts a nifty 3-6-3 double play to stop the bleeding. SURE. Hustle and get back to the bag NOW when I'm no longer playing Twingo and need the 3-6-3 and a 2-U for a family dinner at Applebees prize pack.

Kaiser:
Twins make their first-round selection in the baseball draft. I'm sure there will be numerous strong opinions on whether this selection was "good" or "not good" coming out soon for you to reference. For us at TWT, we prefer writing intentional fiction, so we will not be commenting. And obviously, we need to wait for those opinions to come out to do our standard ridiculing.

Kaiser:
Baby Jesus in to pinch hit with two on and two out in the eighth. There will be no video of a home run for this at bat either. Not sure the internet is to blame this time.

Kaiser:
Suck