Friday, April 27, 2007

Part the Deux


You might have heard that the Sawx and Yanks are playing this weekend. Again. In NYC this time though. As much fun as last weekend was, I'm finding it hard to find my excitement this early in the season. It could be that there is still snow on the ground, ice in the water up here in Icebergia doesn't make me think "baseball". It could also be that after tonites Daisuke "Clay" Matsuzaka vs. Andy Petitte match-up, we get such excitement as "Tim Wakefield and Kei Igawa star in Gopherball Derby" and I probably get to see Aaron f****g Boone a few hundred more times (sorry guys, doesn't work anymore - your febrile taunts bore me) and Julian Tavarez losing his mind after serving up A-Job April Homer's numbers 22 through 37. And Chien-Ming Wang, you can never forget the Wang.

But also, baseball just seems so silly right now, and that's mostly down to the rather bizarre story involving our namesake. No matter what Bud Selig tells you, there are no Royals in the champaign room. Seriously, Sammy Sosa's fivehead is going for six, Gary Matthews Jr. runs free, and someone is probably about to sign Raffy Palmeiro to the MLB equivalent of a ten-day, but we should be worried that Hunter sent a case'o'Cris to the Royals for assisting in last year's AL Central crown? Please.

In Little League, didn't everyone get a trophy? For most of the players on the Royals, this is that participation award. Thanks for playing guys, enjoy your bubbly, and your sparkly new Gil Meche. As for Mr. Selig, might I suggest that he team up with Alberto Gonzalez and tackle the true scourge of our day: Internet Pr0n.

P.S., I see your Twins Clubhouse Banter and raise you the Golden State Warriors. Boomwhatitdo?

5 comments:

crystal said...

Do you think Baron Davis's beard could make a cameo here? S/he is pretty awesome. I think it might be a she, actually.

I'll be watching the Sox-Yankees (or the "Skankees," as a clever man in the Detroit airport hollered last weekend)from my hotel room on Wall Street...maybe a pub if I'm really lucky and inspired.

Kaiser said...

I heard Baron Davis' beard was hosting Saturday Night Live this week. Musical guest: Cold War Kids.

Off to Hops' bachelor party! ...where we will be watching the continuing saga of "playing up to our opponents" which was a smashing sucess last night on opening night. Maybe some Shankees too. Maybe.

Kaiser said...

P.S. For some reason, when I was trying to come up with a hypothetical guest to be the music act for SNL with Baron Davis' beard, I thought of "Underpants". Damn, that's f'ed up. You can see why I went in another direction.

But then I thought of a really good band name: "Under There. Underwear?" Can anyone play drums?

Hops said...

Why are you quoting the Bare Naked Ladies while discussing my bachelor party?

Oh...I get it.

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