Part the Deux

You might have heard that the Sawx and Yanks are playing this weekend. Again. In NYC this time though. As much fun as last weekend was, I'm finding it hard to find my excitement this early in the season. It could be that there is still snow on the ground, ice in the water up here in Icebergia doesn't make me think "baseball". It could also be that after tonites Daisuke "Clay" Matsuzaka vs. Andy Petitte match-up, we get such excitement as "Tim Wakefield and Kei Igawa star in Gopherball Derby" and I probably get to see Aaron f****g Boone a few hundred more times (sorry guys, doesn't work anymore - your febrile taunts bore me) and Julian Tavarez losing his mind after serving up A-Job April Homer's numbers 22 through 37. And Chien-Ming Wang, you can never forget the Wang.

But also, baseball just seems so silly right now, and that's mostly down to the rather bizarre story involving our namesake. No matter what Bud Selig tells you, there are no Royals in the champaign room. Seriously, Sammy Sosa's fivehead is going for six, Gary Matthews Jr. runs free, and someone is probably about to sign Raffy Palmeiro to the MLB equivalent of a ten-day, but we should be worried that Hunter sent a case'o'Cris to the Royals for assisting in last year's AL Central crown? Please.

In Little League, didn't everyone get a trophy? For most of the players on the Royals, this is that participation award. Thanks for playing guys, enjoy your bubbly, and your sparkly new Gil Meche. As for Mr. Selig, might I suggest that he team up with Alberto Gonzalez and tackle the true scourge of our day: Internet Pr0n.

P.S., I see your Twins Clubhouse Banter and raise you the Golden State Warriors. Boomwhatitdo?