Monday, April 07, 2008

Perfect Busch

Since I was able to spend Saturday afternoon watching major league baseball teams compete against each other outside and you weren’t…I feel I owe it to you, baseball fans of MN, to pass on a little knowledge in preparation for 2010.

*When watching baseball outside on a nice day (65 and blue sky on Saturday), the fans around you will be generally “happy”. Don’t let this strange emotion confuse you. You are still allowed to boo, cheer, etc…however, be aware that you will be MUCH more likely to randomly turn to someone and say “Hey there, fella”.

*The Sun is capable of burning your skin, much like fire. Be careful.

*The outdoor environment may seem so much like your backyard, that you’ll be tempted to drink a beer. Be aware, unlike the six pack you keep in the garage, beer at an outdoor stadium is slightly more valuable to those who make and sell it. For instance, the liquor store near my house sometimes uses Bud Light as a palate cleanser while offering tastings of actual alcohol. At the ballgame, Bud Light costs $8.75. I’m pretty sure it’s the same beer.

*Women are more attractive when properly attired for an outdoor baseball game. Men are still very, very ugly.

*Indoor baseball players look like this, outdoor baseball players look like this.





2 comments:

Hops said...

But, alas, no Kyle Lohse.

RK said...

I'm really intrigued by this "sun" of which you speak